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Showing posts with label Shelley Lubben. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shelley Lubben. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

CHRISTINA PARREIRA

In case people don't understand, Christina Parreira is a woman who went to work inside a legal brothel of Nevada to create a report on what it's like to work there.  She added me onto all of her social media while she was undergoing this report.   In fact, she added a lot of people - inviting them to "come watch me work at the brothel".  She was very friendly when siding up to me asking me to add her to our social media before embarking upon this research.  In other words, any social media contact I have of her was one she invited me to have at first.

While watching social media she asked me to watch - I saw her having dinner with Dennis Hof and her husband, Michael Whiteacre before going to work at the ranch.  Michael Whiteacre is a pornographer who has made a life's mission out of Shelley Lubben.  He created the "Devil in Ms. Lubben".  http://thedevilandshelleylubben.blogspot.com/2016/03/shelley-lubben-sex-scandal.html    A facebook group called "The Truth About Pink Cross".   Michael also makes regular blog posts which include maps to Shelley's house, photographs of her at fundraisers for abused animals, and screenshots of legal papers like those of her husband's domestic violence.  He broadcasts court dates of when they're supposed to be in what court and makes sure that the address and times are sent out to the porn community at large.

Shelley Lubben is not the only ex-sex worker on his radar, but so is Monica Foster. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zMk_-BCq3g   The same goes for Monica also.  He puts legal papers concerning her court dates online, and regular blog posts about her travel arrangements, where she's living, where she's working, and anything else about her activities he can post about Monica online.  Monica reports she left Los Angeles and moved to Las Vegas because she "did not feel safe" anymore in Los Angeles because of threats she'd been receiving from men in the porn industry.  In fact, she's asked the court to allow her to appear by telephone because she's afraid for her life by coming into a courtroom to answer legal charges that have been filed against her.  Court dates, times and addresses of appearances that Michael makes sure are posted online for the porn community to be aware of.  http://prostitutionresearch.com/pre_blog/2012/06/28/pimps_will_be_pimps_part_2_of/

It seems a hobby of Michael's is to follow the doings of ex-sex workers very closely and to post every single detail he can find out about them online.  He doesn't just follow the women either but the men.  I've been kept posted on the activities of men who have left the porn industry also.   http://business.avn.com/articles/legal/Anti-Porner-Donny-Pauling-Arrested-for-Sex-With-Minor-581756.html

I had asked Christina about how she could judge her working experience at a legal brothel as being on the same level as other women being that it was clear first of all going into the situation three things that most other women don't have.  The first is that there was a dinner where her husband met with Dennis Hof, and Dennis is very aware that Christina is married to a man who is well-known within the porn community and also an attorney.

Kind of intimidating in my opinion - again especially with the public records of domestic violence online.  http://bunnyranchinsider.com/2015/10/dennis-hofs-new-bff-porn-stalker-michael-whiteacre-aka-ari-bass-convicted-of-beating-wife-who-works-at-dennis-brothel  Also not going to be the same type of job interview that other women report to me they get from Dennis.  Every other woman I've spoken to has told me they've had to sleep with Dennis for free over a weekend in order to be hired.  An experience Christina did not have at dinner with Dennis and her husband.  If anything, the meeting over dinner appeared to me to be Michael pretty much letting Dennis know "this is my wife and treat her nicely".  Again, not something most of the women I've known to work at these brothels enjoy having a husband/lawyer/pornographer letting the owners know they're watching what's going on carefully as a common thing.   http://www.pornnewstoday.com/pnt/2015/01/06/ari-bass-aka-michael-whiteacre-slapped-with-a-no-contact-order-by-las-vegas-courts/

The second was she constantly was on social media the general public was able to access - something I don't see the other employees of the ranch enjoying.  Meaning her husband, and the public, were on the outside watching over her in a manner the other women working there aren't enjoying the safety of that second eye on the outside.   In fact I don't know of any other employee of these ranches who has this kind of social media where anyone in the general public can see everything they're doing 24/7 as Christina had set up on her media then.

The third is that Dennis knew going into this that Christina was going to write about this experience, and present it at an annual conference given in Ohio of people who work with prostitutes in different capacities, and many academics.   Meaning that between her husband, the public viewing her constantly online with a large social media following, and the fact the owner of the brothel was aware going into the situation that there was going to be a permanent record broadcast about everything she experienced - did not reflect the same experience that the average Jane coming to work at the brothel would be experiencing.

So those were the questions I asked her when her and I were "friends" on her social media that she asked me to join when she was embarking upon this project.  Questions of how could she possibly compare her experience working there with that of the "average" working girl who would be going in there under totally different circumstances.   I honestly didn't feel it was a fair comparison.  Not when I see shows on TV like "Undercover Boss".  Those shows take great pains to go in like an average employee would go into the company in order to see what the average experience would be knowing that they, as the owner or CEO, is going to be presented a very different picture.

A few days into the project - she put out an alert that she "wanted out of there" and was asking for people to "come and get her out of here".  I was monitoring her as she asked and I responded saying I was "on my way".   I have screenshots saved of everything.

Where she was at from where I was at was quite a bit of distance so I told her it would take me a while to get there but I was coming.  I was having to come myself because our other volunteer drivers who live closer to the brothel she was in have all been threatened so badly, even attacked, they've all moved out of the state.  One volunteer driver was so threatened he left the country, while another man was so upset when he came home to find his house broken into and ransacked with a threat left that he had a heart attack and has now passed on.

(Yes I have kept the emails and text messages of our volunteers who have reported to me they've been threatened and harassed to the point where they have had to move out of state, out of the country, and about the one man who after finding his home trashed and the threat left in his home he then suffered a heart attack within 24 hours.)

So that left me at that time being the one with a car to go get her out of there as she had asked for help.  About 30 minutes later, she told me "it was okay".  When I asked what happened she said she had "just changed her bipolar medication and was just going through an adjustment and she was okay now".  I told her I'd check in with her again daily to make sure in case she changed her mind and did so.

I was concerned she might be afraid to come home because of the past records for domestic violence I'd seen online between her and Michael so I let her know she was welcome to come stay with me if she didn't want to go home.  She insisted she was fine and wanted to continue with her research.  (Christina now claims I have "violated her confidence by speaking about her bipolar disorder and this medication incident.  However, it was posted on Twitter to the general attention and not my private attention - and therefore was not something rendered to me in confidence.  Since she has never been a member of SWA, has never called our hotline, she's never invoked our confidence in the first place either.)

Once she was home, she blocked me off her social media.   However, she had already been added into our contact list on our end as a "friend" and as someone who is a sex worker active in the industry.   As a courtesy, and because she's a researcher, we sent her a copy of the newsletter we had sent out in response to Bradley Myles acting like boys being raised to be pimps by their elders was something that only happened in Mexico - and not in the USA.   She then did send us a request to take her off the newsletter list which we did.

Norma Jean Almodovar had sent us a group email with Christina in the loop.    To respond to that email, we had to also send back a response to Christina.   She was taken off our mailing list of people we send emails to, but in responding to Norma's repeated group emails to us, Christina kept getting an email copy to her as well.  We had no way of deleting that because it was in the email Norma had sent us and therefore automatic.  So any emails to Christina during that period of time she received from us were initiated by Norma Jean.

To maintain our members' anonymity, we ask all members not to identify as members on their social media.  We also ask they not send out any communications with our name on it, or on our behalf from their computers.  To do so would reveal their IP address, and in some cases might even reveal their physical locations.  We therefore have asked members if they want to say something on the group's behalf to do so from either my account, or my computer, or even using my email address or social media accounts.  This is to mask their personal identities and locations.  We do not add members on our "friends" list because it's too easy to turn around and identify them this way.  We don't have them as "followers" on twitter either.

We have no online groups online either because some years ago we had Beth Jacobs start placing members photos of them and their kids online for the general public to view and thus endangering them.   So we took down even our members only groups.  We ask no local meetings advertise their locations online.  Any ads for us for local meetings have to use our main phone number and main email to again further protect the anonymity of our members.  All communications need to come through a relay system we have set up here at my location so everything appears to be coming through me to protect their identities and locations.  Our database for members at this moment is over 190,000.  Now with that large of a number of members posting things on our behalf they want to say using my name, my social media, my accounts - I would imagine it might look like I'm in a lot of places but that's not the case.

Today I had a new member in our office.  She's on probation and has to have a job or she goes to jail.  When in situations like that, I will hire them to work here so they have a job that can be reported to their probation officer.   If they need training in job skills such as typing, emailing, graphic design, transcription, social media, or other skills they might need to learn on the fly so they can get hired at a permanent job - I provide training.  I have the equipment here and the knowledge and I will take in new members who need to learn certain job skills quickly and teach it to them on the spot.  School sometimes costs money and takes time and these men and women sometimes need to be able to find work "now".  So I have provided training to many a person finding they have to get other types of work to satisfy their probation, parole, or because they might be going through a custody case.

I was showing a new member how to set up a Linkedin account today.  A prompt came up asking to generate contacts.  I was unaware this prompt would send out emails to every email address in my email folder.  I thought it would only take emails from my contacts list.  Seems Linkedin has updated their system because I got the following response from Christina after it seems they emailed her.  The email below is copied word for word to show her response to this "invite" from Linkedin she received on accident.

__________________________________________

JODY FUCK OFF

christina parreira Wed, Mar 16, 2016 at 1:19 PM Reply­To: christina parreira 

To: Jody Williams , Jody Williams , Norma Jean Almodovar , Lovely Letters , Gaye Dalton , Bella Robinson , Maxine Doogan 



I am so sick of being harassed and bombarded by this fucking psychopath, she now harasses me on my twitter work account AND is sending me LinkedIn invites. I need some witnesses to see this, because Jody has literally stolen HOURS of time from me with her mentally ill and likely drug­addled ramblings. JODY­ FUCK OFF. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND LEAVE MY NAME OUT OF YOUR DIRTY DISGUSTING MOUTH YOU INSUFFERABLE CUNT. IF YOU DO NOT, I PROMISE YOUR LIFE WILL BE IN SHAMBLES­ A PROMISE BITCH. I CANNOT SCREAM ANY LOUDER, YOU ARE A STUPID CUNT AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR NAME ON OR AROUND MY EMAIL OR SOCIAL MEDIA AGAIN. IF YOU DO NOT LISTEN (AND YOU ARE A CRAZY CUNT AND CANNOT HELP YOURSELF, SO YOU WILL VIOLATE THIS)­ I AM GETTING MY LAWYER TO SEND YOU A CEASE AND DESIST AND THEN WE WILL FILE A CIVIL SUITE FOR HARASSMENT, EMOTIONAL DISTRESS, ANYTHING THAT CAN STICK. DO YOU HEAR ME NOW YOU FUCKING CRAZY LUNATIC? If she continues and anyone wants to join me, contact me. I have a wonderful lawyer, and he's Portuguese so he's got the fire in him like I do, aka as dont fuck with him. I've had enough of her and I am happy to be the one to spearhead a suit to nail this stupid bitch against a wall once and for all. She won't shut the fuck up, I'm happy to do it for her. Cordially, Christina Parreira, M.A


After I received this email, I sent Christina an apology.  I let her know we had a woman in the office today who I was teaching office skills to because she was on probation for a prostitution charge and trying to avoid jail that I was helping.  She had been setting up a new Linkedin account for us and did not realize when it was asking to set up "connections" that it was going to send out an email to everyone in our email box.  She thought it was just going to go out to those in our "contacts" list and made a mistake.  Christina's response to this apology was to call another sex worker, well you can read what she called another sex worker trying to avoid jail:


christina parreira Wed, Mar 16, 2016 at 2:01 PM Reply­To: christina parreira To: LEAVING THE LIFE Cc: Jody Williams , Norma Jean Almodovar , Lovely Letters , Gaye Dalton , Bella Robinson , Maxine Doogan Yes she did mess up. Make sure if doesn't happen again, or I WILL sue you bitch. You must not know how I am when I reach my boiling point. If I were you, I would back the fuck up bitch. You think you've seen shit? I eat pieces of shit like you for lunch, and I have no fear. Quite the combo isn't it? Now MAKE SURE I NEVER GET CONTACTED AGAIN. Get your lackys in line, or is that too hard for you too? Tread lightly and leave me THE FUCK ALONE

________________________________________________________

I bolded clearly what is a threat.  I don't know if she sent this or Michael did or whoever.  I do know this - we have been bombarded with threats and attacks since April of 2015.  These threats have been very clear their intent is to drive our presence off social media, social media groups, etc.   

We have belonged to the online SWOP groups for years.  However, Christina contacted the moderator of these groups and even though we had not violated any policy, even though their own written policy requires a written warning before dropping us, we were dropped out of these groups at her request according to the email we received from SWOP explaining why we were dropped.  


Even though we have had the legal grounds according to the best attorney there is who works with some of the largest porn companies in this country for a lawsuit, and a criminal complaint, against Christina, Maxine Doogan, Domina Elle, Norma Jean Almodovar, and Meg Munoz, the attorney advised us that he felt this was exactly what they wanted us to do in order to turn us into another online circus as Michael Whiteacre has done with others who have left the sex industry as noted above in this post.  As long as we are a defendant, and not a plaintiff, we have the legal right to refuse all paperwork and documentation that might reflect on who our members are based on confidentiality, but if we initiate action we lose that protection.  Hence why he's advised us he felt we were being provoked into action and his suggestion to just "let it go".  

This attorney also pointed out to us Michael's pattern of posting legal records as being public record he can do so without being sued over confidentiality issues or for defamation and the possibility they might be further provoking me in order to get me to the courthouse at an appointed time where I could be even harmed.  So at this attorney's advice, we have declined the legal actions we've been told we have the right to pursue in order to protect ourselves from harm and our members' identities from being compromised.  Meaning I have no doubt that Christina, or Michael on her behalf, would be consulting an attorney as this is posted to see how to sue me over an accidental Linkedin "invite" seeing they've figured out we're not going to initiate legal action, or a criminal report, ourselves.  

If you ask me, I think this whole thing with Shelley, Monica, myself, is something that Michael does in order to send a very direct message on two levels.  The first is he's showing Christina his power of what he can do to her if she chooses to leave him.  If I was in her shoes and watching the way he's gone after Monica and Shelley - I would be absolutely terrified to leave him and thus on drugs myself (I've been clean since January 3, 1985 of all drugs and alcohol.  I have people who live with me who can verify this and people who have seen me take chips every year.  I have medical records showing clean drug tests for insurance reasons.and I've taken psychiatric evaluations for job interviews where the top doctors in the state have declared I am "of sound mind".)  

I also feel he's sending a message to people in the porn industry about what he's going to do to you if you leave (I've not seen this type of attack on anyone currently active in the porn industry - only those who have left it entirely.)  I've got years of study behind me on domestic violence and abuse, as well as being very familiar with how abusers operate being on how many women we've pulled out of abuse situations, and one of the ways an abuser threatens isn't done directly - but indirectly.  Like a pattern of abusing ex-wives to send a message to the current wife "this is what will happen to you if you leave me".  

I know I've tried making friends with Michael for years now he's rebuffed and I myself have wondered when I'm going to get onto the "Shelley and Monica radar" as we call it around my house.  I say that because at the moment anyway I seem to be the only ex-sex worker who is not on his shit list of which he's turned into blog materials.   As a woman I personally would be absolutely terrified knowing that people who are still active withing the porn industry who read his posts who include some pretty bad dudes would be getting map shots of where I live or court dates of when I'm walking into court.  Of course that was if I was living anywhere that could be done to me.  I've already read their social media that they "went by my address to see it was a post box".  Duh.  

If you ask me it's a very clever tactic to convey information to other people who could be doing harm to these women in a manner where Michael would not be held directly responsible as I've seen other attorney's do when their wife leaves them for abuse.  Remember, we've had members of SWA whose pimp/husband included Chuck Traynor, who also owned the Gun Store in Nevada, who were cops, attorney's, prosecutors, professors, and other positions of high rank that both pedophiles and abusers gravitate towards in order to protect themselves and intimidate their victims.  "Oh your honor I never told anyone to do anything to that woman - I posted that information on a blog anyone could have looked up themselves."  Yes we live in a country that has free speech - but there's also a fine line between free speech and inciting one to violence.  If you ask me - Pink Cross has every legal grounds to sue Michael Whiteacre for not only destroying their ministry, but even to inciting Garrett to violence, and losing his job, because of what was posted about them online by Michael.  

Why might he do such a thing?  It's a common tactic of abusive males to isolate their victims from anyone they feel is a threat who could remove or protect them.  I have no doubt Christina may either be put up to push me away from any social contact with her being what I represent, or that he might even be the person contacting me himself on her email as this frankly sounds too aggressive to be from a female, and doing everything he can to make sure anyone who has left the porn industry is not allowed to have any contact with Christina, or frankly to scared to.  In looking over her social media you will not find one person on her contacts who is not active within the sex industry in some fashion in fact.  I find no one on her list who is out of the sex industry, nor who works with any group that helps someone out of the sex industry.  A common pattern with victims of pimps by the way.  They maintain control over their victims by making sure they do not have any social contact with anyone who either has left the industry, or who may support their exiting the industry.  It's very hard to get sober when you live in a bar and are surrounded by nothing but drunks.  

Christina - I'm not scared of your husband.  If you ever want to leave we can get you so far underground he will never find you.  Not one of the men or women we've helped to leave horrific pimps who make your husband look like a poodle has ever been found by those people they were running from.  Women like Monica Foster, Shelley Lubben, Desi Foxx, and those he follows on his blogs - please note not one of those women was a member of OUR program.  In all Michael's diggings to find people who would attack Shelley, and the person Shelley claims your husband sent in as a "spy" to dig up the dirt that he did for "Devil in Ms. Lubben" you will note he has not been able to do the same with our organization.  

After the last insult wasn't enough - this email then came in to us after our members were called "lacky's".


Well if I had to deal with things like this below - I guess I'd take it out on someone else also.  Again, if that's even her sending me those threats and not Michael hiding behind her email.   I'm an old retired junkie and prostitute - do these people think I give one shit about people "destroying my reputation"?  I've been called names and beat up on since the third grade.   You want to attack me?  Get in line.  I'll add you onto the list ranging from my father, to my ex-pimp to my ex-husband and then the pimps of everyone I've ever rescued.  I'm still standing motherfuckers.  


  

The above is strictly my opinion and my personal experience on this matter.  




Friday, January 1, 2016

GOT TO HAVE A GIMMICK


Can't hook anymore?  Get yourself a gimmick.  

Let's convince people bars of soap with the National Trafficking Hotline number on it saves trafficking victims.   Only guess what?  If someone can pick up a phone and call for help THEY AREN'T BEING FORCED THEN ARE THEY?  If they're in a hotel room and they can call for help it does mean they're not being supervised, and they can move freely.  Where I come from a trafficking victim can't call for help. That's the definition.  I ought to know because I FOUNDED THE MOVEMENT.  A movement founded because our victims couldn't call for help and get any.   Is there anyone walking around saying they got saved from a trafficking ring by calling the number off a bar of soap?  It sure is making money for Theresa Flores though.  A woman who says she willingly left her house to meet with a pimp and run off to prostitute.  I'm sorry but in "the game" where I come from I know a hustle when I see one.  There's 911 and there's yellow pages.  But if Theresa can get people to buy her soap and think it "saves lives" - let's give her the "gimmick award" for a new hustle.

We got "Hookers for Jesus" who goes out and takes the hookers out of the pimps house where the johns are paying their bills for them to put them in her house where she's getting old men to pay their bills at her house.  Got to have a gimmick.  Instead of parading women around in the brothel - she's parading them around the church stage.  Not to set them up in their OWN homes, but in HER HOUSE.  Over a million dollars was donated to Pastor Perez who then filed bankruptcy.  The judge then basically said something had to be set up or someone was going to jail so they set up the house but then they were out asking for people to donate a TV set?  Got to have a gimmick.  Want to quit prostitution and don't want to work?  Got get yourself some work out hookers, put them in your house, and then pimp them out to the church.  Either way you slice it these women still aren't working a job and in their own homes and on their own two feet.  They're still having other people take care of them and Annie still isn't working a job.  Mama's just got a new hustle.

Retire from prostitution, and open up a salon and a bakery but that's not enough is it?  No - you need to go out asking for grants and donations to go out and give cash and makeovers to active hookers and strippers.  Sure they'll take it.  Does it help them quit the biz?  No but then you got that covered - you just tell the press you're "loving them unconditionally".  Where I come from if you love an addict unconditionally and give them cash they'll go out and use on that money and die.  Now if these women are giving their money to their pimp - wouldn't that money then go right to their pimp?  Isn't "loving them right where they are" mean letting them stay right with their pimp?   I look at the money people can make in the bakery biz on shows like "Cake Boss" and with hair salons with what the guy who made "Wen" hair products is doing and is Joy Hoover out making six figures a year doing hair or baking cupcakes?  No - she's hanging around strip clubs getting tips without taking her clothes off. What a hustle!  Too bad she's taking money out of the pocket of the women who are shaking their ass for their tips.  But Joy's got a hustle - show up with "cupcakes" talking about Jesus!

Shelley Lubben's got her "Pink Cross" t-shirts - aren't they cute?  She treats porn stars like the ASPCA treats abused animals - she parades around porn stars who had had a bad streak and tells the donors her "trafficking porn" stories of how they've been "beaten, raped, abused, overdosed, trafficked" and please help us go give them a pink cross t-shirt, or better yet make a video of dead porn stars while asking for money.  I've never seen so many images of beaten up, used up, fucked up porn stars with Shelley having her hand out in my life = I swear she's created a new form of porn.  That's her "gimmick".

I could go on but what's the common denominator here?  Pimps make money exploiting these men and women.  I'm sorry but to me what I'm seeing here is just a costume change.  We all know that one can be in the sex industry without having intercourse.  This is just the new hybrid evolvement of a new form of exploitation because it's not rescue, it's not recovery, and it sure isn't a "program.

I want to point you to professor Sharon Oselin's 10 year study on three programs that work with prostitutes "Leaving Prostitution". One of the programs she studied over 10 years was ours.  The other two folded before the end of the study. That says a lot right there.   We have a solid program and I'm not running around applying for grants, holding fund raisers, or trying to sell you a bar of soap and convince you it saves trafficking victims.  Got to tell you - it's a great hustle though!


Thursday, December 31, 2015

OPEN LETTER TO ANNIE LOBERT, ALICE JAY, SHELLEY LUBBEN & JOY HOOVER

This is exactly what the devil/disease wants by whatever name you want to call it -  in the story where Christ went into the mountains He was tested.  He was tested how?  With money, fame, power, and even with the idea of being God himself when Satan told Him "throw yourself off the mountain and let your Angels come to save you".

What did Christ do?  He resisted temptation and then went seeking his disciples where he then TAUGHT.  He found Mary being about to be stoned to death and didn't say to her "I'm going to love you where you're at".  No.  He said "go and sin no more".  Then what?  She followed Him.  As she was puttering around in the kitchen - He then told her "come over here and sit and learn with me".   His band of disciples then went out and did what?

Did Christ ask the people to come up with the bread and fishes when there wasn't enough to feed the people?  Or did He create enough?  God is the source of whatever our needs are.

I have stood by here and watched as every woman who has left the sex industry and tried to create something BY HERSELF has failed.  That's why frankly I am not out here doing it alone.  In our 12 step fellowship - I have my brothers and sisters all over this country, and other countries, that I lean on for strength and guidance and we're still here 30 years later.

I don't have anything to do with it.  Professor Sharon Oselin went out and spent 10 years studying three different groups that worked with prostitutes and guess what?  The only one that was still standing at the end of her study was the one that had incorporated ours into theirs.  Sad that after she wrapped up the study they decided to go grant seeking and three months later they folded.  That's very telling in itself - especially since we're still here.

Annie, Shelley, Joy - can you imagine what it would do to this field if we were to band together against the enemy?   We'd be unstoppable.  Annie I don't know how many women you've actually gotten out of the sex industry and in recovery - but I'm not hearing from anyone.  Shelley - same.  All I'm reading is trash mail.  Joy - you got a petition going up against you.

Me?  The only site I have up now bashing me is a bunch of lies made up by a woman who was working with the Kamylla fund raiser with Joy, Domina Elle.  It will be down soon enough.  Too many people have come back to me saying they tried to post a defense to us that wasn't posted on it.  Besides, I'm not the person who runs all the groups around here.  I just answer the phone sometimes and write the literature and blog under my name.  I say "under my name" because our members don't want to post things under their name - so they post under mine to maintain their "anonymity".  Much like how alcoholics say they're "friends of Bill" as code.  To protect their profiles, IP address, etc., they post under ours.

I have reached out to all of you over the years - only to be rebuffed.  Maybe you've learned your lesson.  You may be out and you may "have yours" but how many are you helping besides yourself?  We have a lot of people now who thank us for their recovery.  What I see when I look at you three however is the same thing I saw when I went to a Catharis meeting.  It didn't last either by the way and Norma relapsed also.

We're still here.  So I'm going to keep extending an olive branch here and just say that a rope made of three strands is unbreakable.  If you women are ready to stop trying to be the star of the show and actually get some real work done, including on your own 'post prostitution syndrome", then give me a call sometime.

Shelley - I kept trying to reach out to you years ago.  Now I'm reading you've lost your nonprofit, you're in a smaller house, and Garrett has been arrested twice for domestic violence.  The real shame is that probably if you'd been working a program with me - then none of that might have been necessary.

Annie - you've got a house.  Big whoop.  Since when did that make any difference to these women who are out there making $50,000 a week but who have a pimp monitoring every move?  You think they're going to be able to go near that house?  Your cute little house will be right where mine was years ago - they'll start showing up with the zoning inspectors and zone you right out of the rehab business.

Or didn't you know we had a house in Nevada years ago?  Oh no - I take that back we had a motel and an apartment building.  The motel was for when they'd come in at 2:00 a.m. and we had no furniture or bedding.  The apartment building we'd put them in the next day.  Then the local casino, hotel, laundry, or motel owner would give them a job until we could get them SSI or in school.   When we kept up with the zoning fines - they came out and set fire to the apartment building and that was that.  There wasn't enough money to rebuild the whole building and guess who came in and bought the building?  Never guess!  Same guy who set Sharnel up that was running the alternative sentencing program in Reno that's who.

Look ladies - building an empire isn't hard.  Don't you know that by now?  It's KEEPING it and making it EFFECTIVE to helping other people - now that's hard.  So if you're "done" with this - and ready to get some real work done at helping women who need our help - you give me a call.   I'm doing just fine - but I know it would be a lot easier if instead of fighting the pimps these days I only had to fight them instead of you gals right in there along with them.

What was that phrase "bottom bitch"?  You might be women but you're doing a pretty good job for the pimps I got to tell you.  Annie - the pimps joke about "you want to go to Annie's house?"  Same Joy for your so called "job training" in the bakery.

They don't laugh about me.  No they snarl about me because I'm making a difference.  If you doubt that for one second - you look at the Mob Museum standing where those men wanting a brothel and you tell me I'm not making a difference in this town that has everyone of those pimps cussing me out every chance they get.  Means I'm doing my job right ladies.

You can't be "loved" and do your job right in this field.  Doesn't work that way.  Not universally.  The ones who love me are the ones I've saved and helped.  That's where it counts.

You've all blocked my number - so I'm inviting you now that maybe we should all sit down and find a way to work together for the "common welfare".  In our program we say "the common welfare comes first - personal recovery depends upon unity".  I've also stayed clean since 1985.  You think about it ladies. Better yet - pray on it.

You know what - don't call me.  I don't want you to do something simply because you "like" or "don't" like me.  I guess I had an advantage in that I started our program with no one around doing this for me to say "I don't like her so I'm going to do it different".  Well you've worn the crown of "leader" and guess what people do when you lead rather than "serve"?  Has anyone seen that Southpark where everyone was a "Yelp" reviewer?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDlR_ccnZww  They wound up pretty hated by the people they were reviewing because they were acting like shits.

Look - you ladies have been acting like the Queen Bee with everyone around you being your servants and then the minute they aren't under you - they're gone.  That's not a way to live.  I want to be surrounded by women like Kathleen Mitchell or Brenda Myers-Powell who are out there starting their own thing and doing their own thing and support them doing their thing.   So you know what?  I don't want you to call me and make friends and then do something because you "like" me.  That's not what any of this is about.

If you ladies haven't figured out this has become "unmanageable" out of prostitution by now - then I have nothing else to say other than I'm here when you do.  I don't have to know you personally to know there's some kind of addiction going on with you at home and I don't mean drugs necessarily.   I'll get you into a meeting and find you a sponsor.  You want to start a meeting after you've done some stepwork - fine.  But right now - you ladies are the absolute symbol of "unmanageability".


Thursday, December 24, 2015

GROUPS SUPPOSEDLY OUT TO HELP YOU LEAVE THE SEX INDUSTRY

Where do they get their funding?  Why do they exist?  What do they get out of this work?

Sex Workers Anonymous is a 12 step group.  Meaning based on the model of AA and NA.  What this means essentially is Bill Wilson was suffering with a craving to drink at 8 months sobriety.  So he set out to find someone else to "12 step" which was Dr. Bob.  This created Alcoholics Anonymous - reaching out to help another.  12 step groups are not federally funded by grants, nor by private fund raisers, crowdfunding, nor even private donations.  Our funding is only and solely by the sales of our literature, or money passed from the basket.  Now since prostitution is illegal, and receiving money from the "earnings a prostitute" is a felony - we don't pass a basket at our meetings.  This limits our income quite severely.  But why do we reach out to help others?  Because that's how we stay out - pure and simple.  I have been reaching out to help others, who want that help, and I have been off drugs and out of the whole sex industry, since 1985.  It's that simple.

So any press we do is to "carry the message" to those who might need us where to find us.  It's not to promote a fund raiser.  It's not to beef up an application for a grant.  It's not to look good for an election.  It's not because we have a lawsuit pending.  It's not because we're trying to get a law passed.  It's also not because we're paid informants nor a paid lobbyist either.

The group "Abeni" is part of the Orange County Human Trafficking Task Force.  A task force that receives federal grant money.  How do they get that grant money?  They apply for it.  To get grant money to help trafficking victims - you have to show need.  How do you show need?  Well getting some to come into a group they think is there to help them might be a good way to do so.  Their media by their own admission says they mix current active sex workers with trafficking victims who are trying to escape trafficking.  How on earth does that work in reality?  Are you going to tell me you can put newly sober alcoholics in a bar with active drunks and that's going to work?  Well it works for the drinking alcoholics for sure - not those trying to stay sober.  Anyone who is recovering from sex trafficking knows that if the ring is still operating they will be trying to find you.  Either to retrieve you back into the ring or to make sure you don't press charges.  How do they do this?  They use active sex workers.  Meaning if you want to escape sex trafficking you have to cut off anyone from the whole sex and drug world to do so.  Otherwise, a phone rings and they know where you're at and then it's over.  You are either drug back or you're being threatened - one or the other.  I know because not only is that what happened to me but it's what I've seen for 30 years now.

I've seen criminal rings send people into jail just to get next to someone to threaten them and drag them back.  I've seen them take a girl and fake a suicide attempt to get one of their people into a suicide ward to get a threat to a victim.  I've seen them send in "catfish" victims into safe houses just to find out where they are, and to find out who the staff is.  I've seen just about every trick in the book (no pun intended) by criminal operations trying to cover their backside, to silence potential witnesses, and to drag heavy earners back into the fold.  Same with law enforcement.  I've seen a documentary how they sent in an undercover snitch into the Hell's Angel's and another show where they took and put a man in a killer's cell just to befriend him in the hopes of getting him to confess where he'd hidden the bodies.

Which is why the purity of the 12 step process works.  We don't involve ourselves in any law enforcement matters.  No lawsuits.  No legislature activity.  No fund raising.  Our only and SOLE purpose is to help someone leave, and recover from, the sex industry.

We aren't taking money from the AHF to not only promote their agendas, but to even try and sink AIM.  The AIM Clinic was set up by an ex-porn performer to be devoted to be a safe place where the sex industry could go and get testing and not be in fear of criminal prosecution, nor of being laughed at, stared at, nor files being made to start criminal investigations on them either.  There have been rumors they were deliberately "set up" to be shut down which I wouldn't doubt one bit.  Especially in light of the "Sex Industry Mafia" as I call them that does exist.  There is a specific group of people who will target anyone who has left the sex industry to try and do everything in their power to make sure those exits are not successful.  So I don't doubt at all that Dr. Sharon Mitchell was set up during this process of AIM being shut down.

It's why I also have had some serious doubts about what's going on with Shelley Lubben and Pink Cross.  We have been extending our hand to ALL from ALL parts of the sex industry - whether it be prostitution or porn since 1987.  Now why would Shelley come along and feel the need to start her own program just to reach out to porn performers?  What experience did she have in leaving porn when she opened Pink Cross?  Now in SWA we also advocate that one can't successfully leave sex work while still using drugs.  We have seen Shelley confess on her social media not only to still drinking and using, but one time she even posted that she had "flushed all of her drugs" which one doesn't do if one is on prescribed medications by a medical doctor for a valid reason.  I take thyroid medication that I don't get up  and flush and then post about it on Twitter.

I have said we have found ourselves under attack for a while now since I refused an offer to accept money to be a paid informant on our members.  Now I know I'm not unique.  If I'm being offered money to inform on our members - then I'm sure other groups are also.  Especially since Congress asked for a "census" to be taken about two years ago of the sex industry.  Might explain why SWOP suddenly starts offering people $300 to start organizing "get togethers" to encourage new members who sign pledges now that identify themselves as sex workers without any privacy policy as to what is done with that information.

But I'd like to point out something I found about Shelley's status as an informant today online:



For a while now, I've been trying to figure out why Shelley has been terrorizing people into being afraid to call us for help.  Now I think I know.  If she's an informant - then she's going to want to make sure she's getting people coming to her for help instead of us.

Use common sense people.  What other group has testimonials online in their own words over a span of 30 years of how a group helped them?  I have quotes in news articles spanning 30 years from members at www.hightechmadam.com and I have recorded interviews at www.leavingtheliferadio.com    Our quotes are not tied to fund raisers, grants, elections, lawsuits, or laws trying to be passed.  We are not going to put together a fund raiser for you either.  We are here to help you leave the sex industry and find "recovery" meaning being able to pay your own way in your own life in your own home yourself.  We're not going to put you in our house, then parade you around asking for money to help you, and then take care of you like a child while you go to school that once you get a degree may or may not get you work.  A recent study of the homeless found 30 percent of them had a BA degree or higher.

The Cupcake Girls have a lobbyist.  Why?  What do lobbyist's do?  They're paid for one thing.  They're paid to influence legislators to pass laws.  Now think - why would a group be going out offering money, make-overs, cupcakes, hair cuts, dental work, free legal assistance to strippers and then also have a lobbyist?  What do politicians like?  Come on people - do the math here!

Maxine Doogan and Domina Elle flew to W. Virginia to supposedly "help" Heather.  They set up an $800,000 fund raiser for her.  Supposedly handed her a wad of cash, then she went on a drug binge.  Who in their right mind would do this?  Why would you hand that much cash to someone who was using drugs, prostituting, had just killed someone for whatever reason, is in a life crisis stage in her life because now her face has been plastered all over the internet as a "hero" it will be impossible for her to find a job somewhere, and then just hand her a wad of cash with no oversight even?

Nothing like paying for rent, paying for school, paying for counseling, having a sponsor appointed her that walks through these changes with her - just hands her cash and walks out after having plastered her face and name all over the internet as a "hero".  Because that's what they did - as they blasted her face as a "hero" they were also alerting the world she was a "prostitute" thus making it now almost impossible for her to find a job somewhere outside of the sex industry.  Their goal isn't helping Heather to leave the sex industry or they would have called us.  We would have connected Heather to the local W. Virginia members who then would be offering her 24/7 support, gotten her into some kind of drug treatment, some kind of counseling (depending on what's available in W. Virginia), helped her to find work when she was ready, and connected her to other ex-prostitutes in recovery to provide her with emotional support during the process.

These women are dangerous.  After they got done with "Kamylla" she's still not out of sex work either.  According to her own social media - she's still not working a job, still has legal issues, and still has immigration hanging over her head.   In other words, she has three kids, is married, and is still working as a prostitute with multiple legal issues over her head.  Now they're done with her - Maxine, Domina Elle, and the others, have moved on to Heather.  They then went after Heather for a fund raiser, and now no one seems to know where Heather is.  For all we know she's overdosed or dead in some alley somewhere.

Let me ask you something - what if Neal Falls was a serial killer?  What if he worked with a partner?  The investigation into Neal's wasn't completed yet before these people blasted her face and name all over the internet calling her a "hero".  What if his partner came after her for revenge for his murder?  I mean where is Heather?  Was she linked into a social network of people who cared about her?  No.  She was used to raise money, gather information on people, and then now dumped while these people have moved on.

Let's look at the obvious - if these women cared about sex workers they wouldn't be bashing me or SWA you know why?  Because I"m an ex-sex worker and I answer a hotline that sex workers call every day for help.  If they cared about sex workers they would not be attacking us - pure and simple.  People who care about helping alcoholics don't attack AA.  The same for Shelley, or Cupcake Girls, or anyone else attacking us.  I also am not SWA anymore than Bill Wilson is all of AA or Jimmy Kinnon is all of NA.   So clearly there's another agenda going on when people are attacking us while claiming to care about sex workers, or to be supposedly trying to help someone leave sex work.  Domina Elle and Maxine Doogan have no experience in this arena - and handing money to Heather and thinking that's going to help her quit sex work is just proof they have no idea what they're doing.

Or do they know exactly what they're doing?  I know this - if you're a group working with prostitutes right now in 2013 then the leaders have been approached to be paid informants.  They've either accepted or refused.  I've refused.  Meaning what you say to us or in our meetings stays with us.  Our only concern is your recovery.  If that's your goal also - then you can reach us at www.sexworkersanonymous.com

Why do I care?  I'll tell you why - because I get calls all the time from women who have tried to find recovery by going to the wrong places.  http://www.laweekly.com/news/a-drug-rehab-mogul-built-an-empire-that-s-now-being-probed-by-the-fbi-da-and-state-of-california-6390686  They wind up at a drug treatment program where the director says "I'll help you" and "you can turn your tricks with me instead of some stranger" and then this poor girl winds up dead and her family just lost someone they loved.

Which is why I tend to know about places like this.  Can we publish anything about this?  Not if we don't want to wind up being sued for defamation.  But what we can do is tell family members of women like Julie and say "we've had women go through program such and such and they've been treated well in that program" and increase the odds that they won't be tripped up on the path to recovery by people with other agendas.

Understand this - pedophiles get jobs working with kids.  Why?  Access to kids.  Now if you're a trafficker - what are you going to do?  Get access to women you can get turned out right?  If you are a man with a sexual addiction and you don't want to get "shamed" in one of these "letter writing campaigns" that politicians are doing to advance their careers - then what do you do?  Do you keep picking up women on street corners?  Or maybe you go out and start a drug treatment empire where you can get all kinds of access with these women that you can then turn around and say "who believes a junkie's accusation"?

Or better yet - become a guard where you can lock them in a cell at night with no one around and then when she makes an accusation you get your boss even backing you up?  Look people - these victims are just that victims.  They are not only victims of traffickers and that's one of the reasons why these people keep creating "fake" survivors like Samoly Mam or even Wilthelma Ortiz Pettigrew to testify at Congress.  Because the fake ones limit their stories to the traffickers who target and exploit them.

REAL VICTIMS talk about ALL who target and exploit them - even those in social services, the courts, the jails, the police stations, the churches, and the treatment centers.  For which there needs to be some kind of watchdog system built in just as there is to keep pedophiles out.  Now how do we do that?  Well the best way I know is the way we were doing it - letting us bring SWA meetings into these programs and facilities.   Letting prostitutes have access to our program and sponsors.  That's a good start.   Because look - in all these stories what do you see as a common thread?  Us excluded that's what you see.

I read that an informant was paid $40,000 to set up Rick "Freeway" Ross to go back to jail.  So you know what?  Sometimes there's a lot of money out there to create situations that wouldn't exist otherwise and lead you down the wrong path.  We have a system that works with respect to getting you out of the sex industry, and finding recovery.  So if you, or if you care about someone who needs help, wants help to get out of that whole briar patch of that world - just give us a call at www.sexworkersanonymous.com



Sunday, July 26, 2015

SHELLEY LUBBEN - PINK CROSS

On June 19, 2014, I submitted a link to Shelley Lubben about a woman who had been found dismembered in a lake. Instead of asking us if we knew anything about this woman personally, instead of reaching out to her family, instead of seeing if anyone else on the porn shoot might be in danger - Shelley Lubben responded by putting the link up on her website, crediting someone else for submitting it to her on June 20th entirely, and then she solicits people to "buy her CD". 


Wow - profiting off the death of a porn star. Sounds just like a pimp does it? In Sex Workers Anonymous we recognized that just like how AA has their "dry drunk" or someone who acts just like a drunk without drinking - there are people who can act just like a "whore" or "pimp" without being in the sex industry. It eventually leads to relapse. Which based on her blond hair, excessive makeup and her husband having just lost his job - I would not be surprised if this one walks the same road I saw Linda Lovelace walk. The porn industry used her up too for their fund raisers - and once she started actually needing some help back for her kidney transplant they kicked her to the curb literally. 


Just as I understand other groups are starting to distance themselves from her now that she's showing some signs of needing help as well. When are people like Shelley going to realize that these "armchair Christians" are only going to accept you while you're raising money for them - not at their dinner tables or into their real lives. We are the only ones who understand "us". 


Shelley you need a meeting because flushing the pills down your toilet is what addicts do instead of going to a meeting. It last what three days? You said yourself that you'd "sit around talking about God and using meth" with your current husband - honey you've just switched to booze and pills. You both need help. 


Please get to a meeting. They have NA meetings online if you can't get to one in Bakersfield. Then again - this might just be a ruse to get some porn company to pay her a lot of money to "come back out of retirement" like they did Linda Lovelace. I've seen it all before folks. This whole Christian thing could just be to get your address contact and then when she does her "coming out of retirement porn video" then she gets paid more money than she would if she'd just stayed in the biz where young girls do rule the internet. If she cared about these women for "real" - then she would have asked us what we know about the woman, reached out to the family, or checked to see if anyone else on the shoot is in danger LIKE WE DID. www.sexworkersanonymous.net





I guess I should address why I'm even talking about this.  Remember we formed in 1987.  Shelly formed the Pink Cross about 1991 if I remember.  So when she first started up - I tried to reach out to her.  I wanted to know more about what she was doing so I could give referrals out to people who call the hotline.  So I requested information on what her group was doing.  I got basically no response at all.  Which I didn't understand.  If she was building a group to help people leave the porn industry - certainly she must know how hard this was going to be.  We'd just spent YEARS trying to find solutions that worked.  I had just been traveling the USA, doing experiments and research, and thinking about all the work we had to put into creating a program that was effective and was working here I was seeing this woman just opening up an office, turning on a phone, and thinking it was all going to work by magic.  Just as I had originally before I got a rude awakening.  So I also wanted to help is why I reached out.  Certainly she'd want to have other ex-sex workers around her?  Women who had been out a while and she could lean on rather than always having people lean on her I thought.  


But I was wrong.  I got no response back when I'd call.  No one would even explain to me what it was that her program did.  Then I remembered seeing her at the AVN awards on a TV show.  She was there literally right before this woman was going to find out if she'd won.  Her "pink cross" women were actually looking like a cult to me.  They had their pink t-shirts on, they all looked alike, they sounded alike, I mean it was creepy.  They were asking this woman to leave her hotel room and "come with them" but they weren't explaining what that meant.  It looked like they were pressuring her.  I could tell that the porn actress wanted to see if she won.  Of course she wanted to see if she'd won.  I mean you're not going to get her to leave five minutes before they announce if she's won or not.  No one I can think of is going to walk away before they find out if they've won an award.  I mean heck it's why they invented the awards in the first place!  


Because I remember the porn industry BEFORE the awards.  Men and women in porn were looked at like freaks.  They would have people spit on them as they walked down the street and they would be called "freaks".  Porn stars were looked at like total deviants and perverts.  I mean "how could you even think of letting a camera film you nude and then splash it all over a screen?" was the general culture view back then.  You couldn't rent an apartment, buy a car, or even get a part-time job if they recognized your face.  You were considered the absolute scum of society.  The money wasn't enough to put up with that kind of nonsense.  The producers were the ones making the money - not the stars.  So what was the pay-off here?


The early producers of porn were not like today.  To make a porn back then required a lot of money.  You had to go around obscenity laws so usually attorney's were involved.  You have to make porn appear to be an "art" film so you wouldn't be branded "obscenity" and then people would get arrested and your film burned.  So you had to have some semblance of a plot which meant writers.  You had cameras that not everyone could operate and they were expensive too.  So you had grown adult business men who used to be in control of porn.  THEY were the ones making the money.  They also had a problem - how are they going to get beautiful people to agree to be filmed if the money was shit?


Now you could get interns to work for free in jobs where there was a future.  But there's no future in porn.  The older you get, the fatter you get, the less you're going to be in demand for your films.  So no intern system would work.  Yes you had the early victims of pimps being forced like Linda Lovelace and Marilyn Chambers.  But there just weren't enough of those maniac pimps around to make enough actresses to keep the system going.  Remember, you can't make one film that's played over and over again.  Now - the very industry demands "fresh meat" has to be supplied to it.  So how do you keep getting young girls to agree to make films?  


Now Playboy had it's mansion.  Their system worked because many of those women met and married rich husbands.  Look at Gene Simmons and his marriage to Shannon Tweed  They met at the mansion and had two kids and she got herself a rock star husband.  That was a walking advertisement for the Playboy empire.  Other women looked at her, or Barbi Benton and everyone beautiful flocked to Playboy.


So how are you going to get them into YOUR little film?  The AVN awards were created.  You'd be surprised at what people will do for a trophy.  I remember the first awards in a dingy little hall and the girls in tube tops.  But this is Los Angeles and there's 1,000's of fashion designers looking to crack into the business.   So they decided to dress the women up like for the Academy Awards.  Then they realized they could charge the fans to come and meet their "favorite stars" and it became a big money making event.  Sponsors wanted in for adult products.  This event became marketing central where careers were made.  Now you can't ask some woman who has been waiting all year to hear if she's going to win that award to just walk away.  They won't do it and the organizers know this.  It's another way to have "employee retention".  


So the last thing you want to do is come up to someone an hour before they announce the winner and ask her "come and leave with us" like some creepy cult.  It won't work.  So as I'm watching this on the TV I'm thinking - they need some help.  I called over there to talk about how we've done effective interventions to see if I could help.  Like suggesting for one thing that asking some women to leave right before she's supposed to get an award with a bunch of girls all wearing the same shirts like some cult might not be effective.  It wasn't either by the way - the woman threw them out of her room, lost the award, and then went back to her room to sulk.  Frankly that's when I would have gone to talk to her.  But again with the wall when I called offering to help.  No one wanted to talk to me.  So what I figured and went on about my business.  Funny - looking back I'm really glad I didn't partner with her and can see everything was for a reason.  But back then I had the mistaken idea we were all on the same team and wanted to help.  


I thought we were on the same team until I started hearing about events going on around town where they were having speakers come and talk about the industry, and leaving the industry, as well as sex trafficking.  I started calling the organizers and offering to come speak.  Now previously when I'd call organizer and offer to come speak they'd be very very happy and welcoming . Suddenly I'm getting this very cold reception and I don't know why.  I figured I'd go to these events and see what was going on - only when I'd arrive I'd have security tell me I wasn't ALLOWED IN THE BUILDING.


Like what?  You're kidding me right - not allowed in the building like I'm some kind of terrorist?  Of course even more curious now why I'm being blocked from even hearing what's going on - I ask around for some tapes of these events.  I get them and then I hear why I'm being blocked from the building.  I never heard such horse shit in my life.  What was even funnier was that each time Shelley is telling her story - it changes.  I mean doesn't she realize that people will remember her story and know when it changes?  So now I'm hearing she went from a porn star who used to literally walk into business establishments and then tell the owner she wasn't leaving until she turned a trick and got some money from him so she could supply her drug habit - to now she's a "trafficking victim"?  Then her drug dealer who became her husband - but now she's a 'trafficking victim"?  Okay who exactly trafficked her?  I'm not hearing about anyone but her and her now husband in the story.  I'm lost.  This is making absolutely no sense to me whatsoever and frankly she's becoming what I'm struggling against.


One of the biggest problems I had when I first started doing the alternative sentencing work where we'd take programs into the jails, and I was working with the probation department, and social services - was over coming their stereotypical views of us "never changing".  I used to hold these lectures where I'd be sitting in the audience as people walked into the meeting room.  Then I'd be meeting and talking with them over coffee until the event was ready to start.  Then I'd stand up and introduce myself and watch their mouths fly open.  I'd say "didn't realize it was me huh?"  I'd have them confront what it was they thought an ex-hooker would be vs. what I was now in recovery. People would admit that they didn't trust us and didn't want to work with us because in their experience we "never changed".  We'd show up to lectures stoned.  We'd rip people off.  We'd lie.  In other words, the dry drunk for the alcoholic is that we'd act like whores but say we were out.  


So I'm working against this stereotype by showing up dressed like a lady to events, being clean, acting responsible - and here I'm seeing her looking like a porn star, made up like a porn star, talking like a porn star, and falling around the stages like she's drunk and changing her story like a child caught in a lie.  Not a good image for us.  So I tried talking to her about this because I'm now seeing a lot of my work going down the drain.  Now I'm not only getting people blocking me from these events because she's said she doesn't want me there which means she's acting like we're two hookers fighting over a corner or something - and to top it off when she acts like this other people think I'm going to act like that.


Sure enough today one of my biggest problems is having to convince people I'm not like her or Annie Lobert.  When I call say a PR company and start to try to talk to them - I can hear this wall of ice and hostility.  So I just bring it out in the open - you're thinking I'm like Shelley or Annie right?  They sigh and say "yeah".  So I explain how we're different and then after I hear this visible sigh of relief - then we can move forward with our business.  But those are the people who are reasonable and I can get to talk to me.  I have 50 other people who won't even talk to me at all because in their minds I'm going to be like those two.  I mean I can't even open my mouth now and say I run a program out of Vegas without getting this weird look.  I then say "no I'm not Annie or Shelley" and then I hear the sigh of relief and a giggle.  Then they tell me how crazy they think these two broads are.  Yes they get on TV because they make for great TV.  They don't even realize the TV is putting them on there not because they're good at what they do but because they're good TV.  People point at the TV and laugh and that sells commercials.  But the reality is that it now has made my job 100 times harder because I can't open my mouth now to someone in the porn industry without first getting them to understand I'm not Shelley nor like Shelley.  It's so bad some people even tell me they checked out my page before calling and upon seeing that Shelley IS NOT on my friend's list - then they felt comfortable enough to call.


This isn't the only way my life has become harder because of Shelley.  There's her "minions" as I call them.  I don't know if she even knows about these people.  But they create face book profiles.  Then they ask to be added as a friend.  Next thing I know they're attacking me with bible quotes and telling me they belong to Pink Cross.  They just start lashing out at me and I have no idea what they're talking about.  All I can do is block them.  I've had to tell all of our members not to friend me because of them because they started attacking our members.  Anyone who would show up as a our "friend" they'd go to them and start attacking.  At first I thought they'd die down after a few months - but it's like years now and I still get these attacks.  Considering I haven't even spoken to Shelley in years I don't know why they're attacking me.  It got so bad last year that I had to report it to Shelley and the police.  I took the threats to the Bakersfield Police, and sent a copy of the letter to Shelley.  They did stop - for about a year.


Where it's really sad however is her leftovers.  Every now and then I get a call from someone who is "making an amends" to me.  They'll call me up and tell me they "want to apologize for what they did" to me.  They admit to horrible slandering and attacks.  I mean the stuff they tell me they did to me is truly awful.  They admit calling up other churches and telling them I was running child pornography rings.  I mean just sick crazy stuff.  They all insist that Shelley "made them do it" and now they've "seen the light" and "feel awful" and they "want to make amends" to me.  


I say "fine - make amends".  They go "what?"  I say "yeah - I want you to go to every person you lied to about me and I want you to tell them you lied and tell them the truth.  You want to make amends to me?  Go and fix the damage you did.  Because I can wipe my ass with your apology and it changes nothing.  The damage is done and I'm not going to undo it by going to these people and saying you lied and now you're sorry.  It won't fix it.  So YOU go to those people and YOU fix it."   Because an "amends" isn't "I'm sorry".  An "amends" is about repairing the damage - not apologizing and then walking away to leave someone else to clean up your mess.  It's about taking responsibility for your actions.  You break it - you buy it.  


I never heard from them again.