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Tuesday, November 10, 2015

CUPCAKE GIRLS ARE "DRY DRUNKS" I.E., PROSTITUTES FOR MONEY - ISN'T THAT WHAT LYING FOR MONEY IS?

I got this in the mail today


When a group focused on the "trafficking" aspect of the sex industry - to the exclusion of the reality of what prostitution itself is I've been wondering why for a while now.  I mean why do groups like the Cupcake Girls focus everything they talk about on the trafficking side of this issue without one word about the very real prostitution side of the issue.

Well that would be then admitting that some of the time one spends in sex work is "voluntary".  That it is in fact "prostitution".  Now outsiders to sex work insist prostitution is sex for money.  No - it's not.  In fact, I argue that's more like marriage in some cases.  Don't tell me some men and women don't marry for money and trade sex for the money please.

I've also wondered why they object so strongly to the concept of "sex work" vs. "prostitution".  The reality is prostitution is a tiny fraction of the sex industry as a whole for one.  The sex INDUSTRY includes stripping, porn, webcams, phone sex, bondage parlors, fetish work, toys, sex clubs, bath houses, legal brothels, etc.  I'm sorry but stores like Adam & Eve are part of the sex industry.  Vivid is part of the sex industry.  You can not extract sex trafficking from the sex industry.

Of which prostitution is in fact a part.  Look at it like the alcohol industry and the alcoholic.  Yes you have the man or woman sitting on a bar stool taking a drink.  The act of a drink is a part of the alcohol industry.  But look at how big the alcohol industry is.  People cook with alcohol.  Cooking shows talk about alcohol.  Tell me if a fine restaurant could even operate without a fully stocked bar.

Now does the alcoholic have to contend with this?  Sure he or she does.  Let me explain - if you're an alcoholic it's not recommended you work with serving alcohol.   So you shouldn't be a bartender or even a waiter for that matter.  Now some have - but it's a case by case basis.  You're around alcohol if you're a chef.  You have to read the labels on your mouthwash.  You have to think about what parties you attend - is the party going to be anything but people just getting.  If you're a race car driver - you have to consider whether you want an alcohol sponsor.  You don't keep a stocked bar in your home normally for guests.  There are ethical questions such as "do I serve alcohol at my daughter's wedding".  If you have an alcoholic in the family - do you serve alcohol with the Thanksgiving dinner at the family get together or would that be rude?

So out of the alcoholism issue - one DOES need to also take into consideration the alcohol industry itself on many levels.  There are also many ethical  and moral questions that one has to think about to be a sober alcoholic.  I watch a lot of the reality shows on TV where they hold fund raisers and I remember watching  one where Bethany, who owns "Skinny Girl" alcohol beverage is talking about her friend, Sonya, possibly being an alcoholic.  Let's talk about the elephant in the room because I think Sonya might have  a problem with her drinking.  Now Bethany has got a wine glass in her hand while she's talking about Sonya's possible drinking problem.  Does Bethany get all the booze out of the house?  Does she continue to market the products if Sonya is an alcoholic?

I mean when you look beyond the alcoholic to the alcohol industry - it becomes a larger, deeper, issue that DOES have to be confronted in sobriety.  Just as an example, if Sonya is an alcoholic then things like her relationship with Betthany is going to have to be examined carefully, it brought out into the open, and addressed if she's to achieve sobriety.

Now with the issue of prostitution, sex work and trafficking - the concept here is the same.  I'm getting an email from a group that wants to focus on the TRAFFICKING component of what? The sex industry.  Not just prostitution - but the sex industry.  Especially with the Cupcake Girls because they target strippers.  Are there strippers who aren't prostitutes?  Yes as a matter of fact there are.  I know of a woman who made over a million dollars off one video of herself by herself.  She didn't screw anyone.  That woman was in the sex industry not a prostitute.

Why do I make a distinction?  Because our program, Sex Workers Anonymous, is not just for "prostitutes".  Again, that's why we changed our name from Prostitutes Anonymous in 1995 to SEX WORKERS ANONYMOUS.   Because I'm not going to tell that woman for example who made that video of herself that if she's not welcome?  The first victim of trafficking to try and convince America she was being trafficked in 1980 was Linda Lovelace.  Not trafficked as a prostitute per se even thought that was the case - but trafficked as a prostitute, porn performer, and stripper.  In other words, within the sex industry itself.

AA doesn't stand at the door and say "okay all you people who only drink beer or wine can't come in".  Anyone who drinks any form of alcohol including mouthwash is welcomed.  We're the same - we're not just for trafficking victims.  We're not just for prostitutes.  We're for anyone in any part of the sex industry in any form.  We have to look at the industry as a whole for our recovery purposes the same as the alcoholic also has to think about issues like employment, sponsorship, social events, etc.  I'm hoping this makes sense to outsiders.

Now within trafficking - I keep hearing these groups like the Cupcake Girls emphasizing trafficking but not talking about PROSTITUTION.  Now what specifically is prostitution?  Is it "sex for money"?   A sober alcoholic has to also not use mouthwash for example even with alcohol - so we too much examine what is prostitution exactly?

Besides sex for money prostitution is about about lying to people for money.  If I say to you "honey I love you I want to marry you" and I don't love you and I'm just doing this to get at your money - what I'm doing is a form of prostitution or WHORING.

For the member of SWA - we not only don't have sex for money we don't lie for money either.  We don't use people for money as part of our definition of sobriety.

Now let me explain something - when groups like the Cupcake Girls hold fund raisers for things like "opening a safe house in Las Vegas" and they have knowledge that we have one already, but they're lying to the public and saying 'nothing exists" - what does that mean they're doing?  I venture that someone may quit stripping, go to work for the Cupcake Girls bakery and if they're lying to the public for money then they're still "prostituting" or what the alcohol would dub a "dry drunk".

Look if they want to say they want to open another one, a better one, an alternative one, a different one, etc. that's HONEST.  I have no qualms with that.  I'm not going to walk around and act like they don't exist because I live in recovery today - not denial.   I don't lie for money.  I don't manipulate people for money.  I don't kiss ass for money.    Just as I abstain from all drugs and alcohol today - I also don't bullshit for money today either.  Our group doesn't just free people from trafficking - we also are a program of recovery.  Now one can't recover without total abstinence first.  So understand that we don't bullshit people for money today, lie for money, tell people what they want to hear, etc.  We don't have "dry drunks" or "whore mentality" or "post prostitution syndrome" in our members - or at least we get them working a program today of total abstinence and total honesty to work on not just not being a trafficking victim but not being a PROSTITUTE today.

You know one can't get over feeling like a whore if one is still a whore.  I've had members marry their tricks and tell me they just went from "turning multiple tricks per day to just one - my husband".  So hold onto your hats here now outsiders - but we have had some members who have had to leave their husbands in order to recover from being not just a victim but a prostitute.  Meaning I think a lot of these groups are focusing on the trafficking issue because they are straight up whoring for money.

Because they're lying in their fund raising - which is a form of prostitution in itself.  The Cupcake Girls fund raising appears as if no resources  exist.  We're not the only ones - but there are groups like Covenant House, Children of the Night, etc.  They provide safe houses for juveniles and in Nevada.  If I take a juvenile to any bus stop or airport - Children of the Night will fly or bus that child at their expense out to a fine program that's been operating since 1979.  Some years 2/3 of their clients have been teens from Nevada.

We have been providing rescue and a "safe house" for adult male and female survivors in Nevada since 1996.  You can listen to some of our testimonials at  www.leavingtheliferadio.com   Some of our members include a madam who operated a massage parlor employing 40 women who came to us with all 40 women at the same time to assist also in exiting the industry .  Another was an attorney who owned two strip clubs that was trafficking women.  Unable to live with himself another day - we went and padlocked the clubs shut together.

Then we offered help to each of the dancers who had been working for him. It was our members' testimony about her trafficking in a legal brothel, and our rescue of her,   that is why there are no legal brothels in Las Vegas today and in fact the Mob Museum and arts district now sits where investors, politicians and celebrities had wanted to build the "magnificent brothel" as Oscar Goodman called it for years before we finally got it defeated once and for all.  I say "we" because we sure didn't see anyone else standing up to testify against the bill, nor preparing the economic report showing that many top companies were in fact not having meetings in Nevada because of the brothels.

This shattered the false perception that the brothels were bringing money into the state by proving in black and white in reality they were costing the state money.  But then the devil always works that way doesn't he - with a lie about what reality is.  WE operate the only hotline for males, females, transgenders, the LGBT, from any part of the sex industry, trafficked or not, to be able to find assistance ESPECIALLY when law enforcement is involved.

The news recently about the Chicago cops who were trafficking a 14 year old girl only highlights what we've been saying to everyone since we founded this modern day movement itself - is that in most cases of trafficking, not pimping, but trafficking, someone in authority is usually involved.  Meaning victims can't call for assistance to 911.  Our hotline provides everything from A-Z - from offering rescue to a safe house, to a proven effective recovery program.

Our members are the oldest and largest in this country. Sorry we haven't been able to attend your fund raisers - but we're busy working with members.  Which for the life of us we're trying to understand why your group says you want to help these women when you go to the legislature to say that their "solicitation records are preventing them from finding employment".  We have an enormous list of employers in Nevada for who the past record of a person is not a problem.  In fact, we have a list of foundations that offer not only scholarships, but also investments for them to start their own companies and have a couple of ministries that will pay for their living expenses for the time they're in school or going through extensive recovery work.

What we don't understand is why when we offered to provide your group with a list of these resources we've gathered after 30 years of researching options - your group's response was to block us and then go on a defamation attack spree.  By the way, we received a text message from Kamylla at 2:00 a.m.  a few weeks ago.  I"m sure you remember Kamylla - we had offered her and her husband the name of a few companies in Houston owned by SWA members who were more than happy to hire them at good hourly rates for legit work. In fact, one of these companies has been shown in a documentary about how the owner used to be in the sex industry.

We also offered her free legal assistance,  a way to get her criminal case dismissed, and contesting her landlord's legal right to rent when her apartment was legally inhabitable.  We have extensive contacts with ICE down in Houston, and with the police, who would have been able to quickly sort out any type of false arrest and/or immigration issues.  Instead of being allowed to help her - we were shoved aside for the Cupcake Girls to raise her $5,000.

A fund raiser we're notifying you we have reported to the authorities to fully investigate because we've since learned that this "Kamylla" might not even have been actually on the show but in fact the whole thing was a smoke screen to garner support for Maxine Doogan's lawsuit to legalize prostitution in California.  But anyway, the phone call we got in the middle of the night claims she still has no job, the money went into a drug binge, and that the lawyer screwed up her case.  GREAT JOB!  

Maybe would have gone differently if we hadn't of been treated like the enemy.  Which still doesn't make sense to us being that we're survivors and therefore trying to understand why you're treating survivors with such hostility and disrespect as well as why you would deliberately short change the women you're supposed to be helping.  Let alone representing yourself as "Christians" because my Sunday school training taught me to "love my enemies" and "do until the least of these" etc.

But people catch on.  The calls we got after Lamar collapsed let us know the media is already catching on.  Which is why groups like yours move around, fold up tent after a while, etc.  I've already started getting calls from media who is catching on you're sounding your big brass bands over there - but who does this?  Who raises money for a safe house and then tells victims to their face "nothing exists" denying them services when the reality is SERVICES EXIST.   Good reporters have come out and see our work for themselves, met with our members, been to our locations, see how we operate, etc.  Now some of them are also telling us they're printing what they're being forced to print to keep their jobs - but what they say with their mouths is theirs.  The public is getting smarter too.

If you look under articles in the comments sections - you'll see the public's catching on also.  Especially when counselors are meeting our members, employers are hiring our members, landlords are providing housing for our members - I mean people catching on also.  Even the sex workers as to your group.  Not a week goes by now when I'm not getting a call about some woman seeing that there's a lot of bells and whistles here with your group - but something else is afoot here.  

Your friend in the legislature John Hambrick is already under investigation for his bullying of legislators for their votes.  Warrants have been issued to investigate and people are catching on as to the agendas flying around Nevada.  The truth always comes out in the wash.

Which also is that we're still here.  Our hotline is still answered by a survivor.  Our meetings are growing.  And it's important to remember what we'll go down in history as.   I'm already the documented founder of the modern day trafficking movement and your group continues to spurn me.  An idiot can see the question that raises.  Sure you'll get donations - people buy pet rocks for God's sake.  But if all I was after was money and didn't care what I said or did to get it - well then I'd be in a relapse for me as a whore.

I think that's sometimes why groups like yours want to focus on the force and the victims and the trafficking - because then you don't have to look at the core issues of what being a "whore" means - someone who will say and do anything for money with no conscience and not caring about the conscience.   Because our group doesn't just focus on "freedom" from force and being trafficked - our members also deal with recovering from "prostituting" themselves and what that means.  An addict can't use drugs.  An alcoholic can't use alcohol.  Our members can't lie, manipulate, con, song and dance, etc. to people to obtain their trust and money without again conscience or thought as to consequence and honesty.

People are supporting you and donating to you because they want to see these women receive the best care possible.  You're using them to fund raise - not putting their needs first.  If this was about their needs you would have at least met with our members when we tried to reach out to you, come to see how we operate (like we offered), educated yourselves as to what we offer so you could make an education decision as to what you might want to offer to the people you work with or not.   But it's documented you refused all attempts on our part to even so much as speak not just to me - but to any of our members - and again not meet with just me - but also them.

But it's all good.  The bartenders see the drunks sitting on the bar night after night bitching about what an asshole Bill Wilson is and how stupid AA is, what a cult it is, doesn't work, etc.  As they sit there and get drunk every night and the bartender contributes to their drinking he hears this.  But the minute one of those drunks decides they want to get sober - the first person they're going to call is Bill Wilson and get their ass into a meeting.

Which is exactly what's happening as we speak.  I got another call on the hotline yesterday to the same effect.  When she wasn't ready - she played along with your group, bashed ours, and continued to lie, cheat, steal, get loaded, and prostitute.

But when she decided she's had enough yesterday and actually wants to leave this life - it's our phone she rang.  All you do when you do this you guys is make them feel like they have to apologize to us for having been on the "bash Jody band wagon".  We then explain to them we know well how the drunks sit around the bar bashing AA while they're not ready yet to get sober - and that we understand that a bar comes in many forms for a woman who has been a prostitute - whether forced or not.  Because if they'll lie to a man about how wonderful he is in bed to get his $100 tip - they sure as heck of course will lie in connection with your groups and your fund raisers and your informants, etc.  for money because that's what prostitutes do - lie for money.  Again why I think you focus on the pimping part - so you keep the discussion off the prostitute part.  Because you are lying to these people - the women, the public, etc.

There are services right now.  Everything a person needs is a phone call away.  Now if you wanted to create an "alternative" or second, or back-up or additional services - hey I'd support you and donate something myself.  But no - you're acting like we don't exist and lying and misleading.  I mean to get up at the legislature and claim that these women "can't get work because of their records" and then to act like we didn't even offer you a list of very reputable companies like the Wynn for example as one who hire someone with a solicitation, a prostitution charge, even a drug charge, for good quality jobs -  I mean do you have any idea the people we've placed in jobs hearing this and what they think of you when they hear this    Again, if you wanted to offer it as an "option" or "alternative" that's one thing - but standing there with John Hambrick and the cameras clicking without any THOUGHT to the fact you're telling some sex workers who are new in the business and we haven't made our way to yet - you're telling them when they see these clips a LIE that they won't be able to find work without expunging those records.

And who is the author of lies?

Don't send me another notice about your fund raisers please.

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